Does your jealousy ever get in the way? I know mine does, and sometimes I fear later that it might hurt my relationships. I really, really try to avoid getting frustrated over my jealousy, especially when the situation really is better in the long run.
Here's the most recent situation. Britton is going to Kenai this weekend to perform with Sonic Karma at a benefit concert. The original plan was for him to come back on Monday, work the entire week here and then fly back next week to stay for the holidays. However, somehow, he talked his boss into allowing him to work from Kenai for the week! Which means he'll be in Kenai from 12/16-1/3! That's an entire week longer than I get to go for, which means that I'm jealous. I really wish I could go down earlier and spend the entire time with family and friends and doing nothing but relaxing, but alas, the library isn't exactly work I can do "from home."
It's saving us money though. It's one a whole round-trip ticket that he is saving (whether it's miles or money, it doesn't matter). Which is a good thing. More money to put towards the wedding that we are both stressing over. And maybe a week away will be good for us. I can finally deep clean my apartment. I can work on craft projects without interruption. I can work on my year-long distance course that I need to finish up by March-ish (I'm 1/3 done. Totally not worried). I can study for the two classes I'm retaking next semester to brush up on the material.
One of the only things I can't do is hang out with my friends, and that's because they're leaving too! Ugh. Who the heck am I supposed to bake for if everyone is leaving me? I still plan on bringing cookies up to his coworkers, because I'm just that awesome. And I'll bring cookies to my work.
Life goes on.
Wednesday, December 14, 2011
Monday, December 12, 2011
Dinner Plans
My mom never seemed to struggle with what to make for dinner or not having the right ingredients. Even my dad can make meals out of nothing.
Right now we're broke, so I am trying to use the foods we already have. This means, we have food that Britton doesn't really care for - like rice and pasta and vegetables. I guess I'll be making a list of ingredients that we do have and trying to come up with good ideas for that. Luckily we're leaving for 10 days next week, so it'll be a little while between when we get paid and when I have to buy groceries. So, this means I just have to find 11 days worth of meals in what we've got. Fun times.
If you have any meals/recipes that your family loves, please feel free to share them with me, especially ones that please picky eaters.
I know I have a steak, chicken breasts, hamburger (ground and in patties), taco meat, salmon and halibut. But I don't seem to have anything to go with these. If it were up to Britton, he'd just eat meat. Perhaps we'll have burgers again, we could do that for a few days, until we get sick of them again (like we did when we first moved in together). But my momma taught me right, and a complete meal needs to have a starch and a veggie to go with it. Or at least the veggies. (No, Britton, potatoes do NOT count as a veggie... They are a starch.) And what if my dinner plans don't have enough for lunch? Then what? I don't have any more bread for sandwiches.
Most the $58.75 in my checking account will need to go to gasoline if my truck ever starts again. Otherwise, I would buy more potatoes and fruits and bread and eggs and bacon.
I hope my single steak and the two chicken breasts I pulled out are defrosted. I also hope that the tortillas in the cupboard are still good. I think I want fajitas tonight. I know I have diced green peppers and onions in the freezer, which will have to make due (we prefer our fajitas with sliced peppers and onions). And maybe we'll just have to have leftover mashed potatoes with it!
I just don't understand how I can buy EVERYTHING on my shopping list (which I make based on the recipes I have planned) and still not have the right ingredients for dinner. le sigh. Some day I'll be just like you, Mom!
And another rant for another day - why I miss paying for a meal plan.
Ever.
I try to follow my mom's footsteps by making a list of dinners we'll eat for the week (or two, since most meals make an extra meal or two), write out all of the ingredients I'll need to make these meals, go to the store, purchase said ingredients and put them away when I get home. Yet, when it actually comes time to make a recipe, I never seem to have everything I need! How is this possible?Right now we're broke, so I am trying to use the foods we already have. This means, we have food that Britton doesn't really care for - like rice and pasta and vegetables. I guess I'll be making a list of ingredients that we do have and trying to come up with good ideas for that. Luckily we're leaving for 10 days next week, so it'll be a little while between when we get paid and when I have to buy groceries. So, this means I just have to find 11 days worth of meals in what we've got. Fun times.
If you have any meals/recipes that your family loves, please feel free to share them with me, especially ones that please picky eaters.
I know I have a steak, chicken breasts, hamburger (ground and in patties), taco meat, salmon and halibut. But I don't seem to have anything to go with these. If it were up to Britton, he'd just eat meat. Perhaps we'll have burgers again, we could do that for a few days, until we get sick of them again (like we did when we first moved in together). But my momma taught me right, and a complete meal needs to have a starch and a veggie to go with it. Or at least the veggies. (No, Britton, potatoes do NOT count as a veggie... They are a starch.) And what if my dinner plans don't have enough for lunch? Then what? I don't have any more bread for sandwiches.
Most the $58.75 in my checking account will need to go to gasoline if my truck ever starts again. Otherwise, I would buy more potatoes and fruits and bread and eggs and bacon.
I hope my single steak and the two chicken breasts I pulled out are defrosted. I also hope that the tortillas in the cupboard are still good. I think I want fajitas tonight. I know I have diced green peppers and onions in the freezer, which will have to make due (we prefer our fajitas with sliced peppers and onions). And maybe we'll just have to have leftover mashed potatoes with it!
I just don't understand how I can buy EVERYTHING on my shopping list (which I make based on the recipes I have planned) and still not have the right ingredients for dinner. le sigh. Some day I'll be just like you, Mom!
And another rant for another day - why I miss paying for a meal plan.
Sunday, December 11, 2011
Graduation fears.
I've applied for probably a dozen jobs or internships since I've been in college and haven't received so much as an interview for a single one of them. Okay - that's not quite true. The interviews I have done though have been for entry level jobs - customer service, housekeeping, food service. Not the atmosphere I plan to work in after I graduate.
As the end of my penultimate (thanks Mrs. Sounart for teaching me that word, by the way) semester approaches, I'm starting to realize that I have approximately 6 months to find "a real job." This job hunt is in addition to a full course load of intense classes and wedding planning. What exactly do I do after graduation if I can't find a "real job"? What am I looking for in this "real job?"
Ultimately, I know I would like to use both degrees. Britton's coworker's wife works with Fish and Game traveling to rural parts of Alaska and checking gaming permits and such. This type of profession would mean that I get to use my biology degree as well as using my sociology degree. There really aren't that many jobs that utilize both sociology and biology.
Seriously. What the eff was I thinking? I know, I know, I said my goal is to take it into nursing. And I still plan to. But I don't really want to do the associates program here in Fairbanks right now. It just doesn't feel up my ally. And Britton isn't comfortable moving somewhere if I managed to get accepted into a non RN-Master's program, because of the whole economy situation everywhere else. And most of the programs say you should expect not to work. How am I supposed to NOT work?! That's just not feasible. I need food too, ya know. So if Britton were to stay here, and I were to go elsewhere, it'd be doable (with another bajillion dollars in student loans), but that just doesn't seem like it's going to work.
I would really like to apply for the Disney program again, but chances are, I'd be rejected there too. Again. And this would also mean that I would move across the country from my then husband. I would have to decide to apply soon if I really wanted to do that. I have to apply while I'm still in college. ugh. Plus the cost of moving to Florida or California would probably not be doable. And Britton would have a hard time paying all of his utilities/rent without me.
I really wish I had been interviewed for the admissions position. I really love my school and I think I would have enjoyed recruiting and helping people through the application process. Perhaps it will open again at the end of the spring semester.
I will keep my eyes glued to www.uakjobs.com, you can bet your bottom dollar I will be applying for every position I might barely be qualified for. I'll also be staring down craigslist and Alexsys for opportunities too. I get emails from the State of Alaska notifying me for positions that are open throughout the state.
Is it wrong that I would love to go into education, but choose not to because of all of the governmental crap? Could I survive a master's program in education? Would being a teacher make me not want children?
I fear being unemployed. I fear paying back the 60,000+ I have in student loans because I chose to live somewhat comfortably instead of working my ass off to avoid them. I fear failing. I fear being a crappy communicator and interviewer. I fear not knowing.
As the end of my penultimate (thanks Mrs. Sounart for teaching me that word, by the way) semester approaches, I'm starting to realize that I have approximately 6 months to find "a real job." This job hunt is in addition to a full course load of intense classes and wedding planning. What exactly do I do after graduation if I can't find a "real job"? What am I looking for in this "real job?"
Ultimately, I know I would like to use both degrees. Britton's coworker's wife works with Fish and Game traveling to rural parts of Alaska and checking gaming permits and such. This type of profession would mean that I get to use my biology degree as well as using my sociology degree. There really aren't that many jobs that utilize both sociology and biology.
Seriously. What the eff was I thinking? I know, I know, I said my goal is to take it into nursing. And I still plan to. But I don't really want to do the associates program here in Fairbanks right now. It just doesn't feel up my ally. And Britton isn't comfortable moving somewhere if I managed to get accepted into a non RN-Master's program, because of the whole economy situation everywhere else. And most of the programs say you should expect not to work. How am I supposed to NOT work?! That's just not feasible. I need food too, ya know. So if Britton were to stay here, and I were to go elsewhere, it'd be doable (with another bajillion dollars in student loans), but that just doesn't seem like it's going to work.
I would really like to apply for the Disney program again, but chances are, I'd be rejected there too. Again. And this would also mean that I would move across the country from my then husband. I would have to decide to apply soon if I really wanted to do that. I have to apply while I'm still in college. ugh. Plus the cost of moving to Florida or California would probably not be doable. And Britton would have a hard time paying all of his utilities/rent without me.
I really wish I had been interviewed for the admissions position. I really love my school and I think I would have enjoyed recruiting and helping people through the application process. Perhaps it will open again at the end of the spring semester.
I will keep my eyes glued to www.uakjobs.com, you can bet your bottom dollar I will be applying for every position I might barely be qualified for. I'll also be staring down craigslist and Alexsys for opportunities too. I get emails from the State of Alaska notifying me for positions that are open throughout the state.
Is it wrong that I would love to go into education, but choose not to because of all of the governmental crap? Could I survive a master's program in education? Would being a teacher make me not want children?
I fear being unemployed. I fear paying back the 60,000+ I have in student loans because I chose to live somewhat comfortably instead of working my ass off to avoid them. I fear failing. I fear being a crappy communicator and interviewer. I fear not knowing.
On 2011's holiday plans
About a month ago, I thought I had decided that I would do the financially responsible thing and stay in Fairbanks for the entirety of winter break. Well, I'm still a little homesick but can't afford a $1000 ticket to my parents house, so I decided to do the next best thing. I'm headed back to Kenai! Oh boy, I'm so excited. We'll be having Christmas dinner with my grandma and grandpa and cousin, Samantha and my middle brother, John and whoever else happens to be there. I'll also get to see my aunt Misty and Uncle Mark and my cousins, Jamies and Blake. And maybe I'll even get the chance to see my half-brothers Anthony and Kelly and my nieces and nephew! Wouldn't that be delightful?
We haven't purchased our tickets yet, but the plan is to leave on the evening of the 23rd and come back to Fairbanks on the 3rd! 10 days in Kenai! Yippee! I plan to visit with as many people as possible, so if you'd like to hang out, please let me know. I don't think I'll have a car, so we'll have to coordinate rides somehow.
I would like to bring my skis down, but only if it isn't going to cost me $100 in oversized luggage fees. I just can't afford that :(
We haven't purchased our tickets yet, but the plan is to leave on the evening of the 23rd and come back to Fairbanks on the 3rd! 10 days in Kenai! Yippee! I plan to visit with as many people as possible, so if you'd like to hang out, please let me know. I don't think I'll have a car, so we'll have to coordinate rides somehow.
I would like to bring my skis down, but only if it isn't going to cost me $100 in oversized luggage fees. I just can't afford that :(
Saturday, December 10, 2011
Christmas Traditions
Growing up, my family always did some of the same things each and every year.
Starting the day after Thanksgiving, my mom would start to put up the Christmas decorations around the house. Garland, lights, Nativity scene, various Christmas quilts. Then, about 2 weeks before Christmas, we would go to Kenai River Nursery and pick out the perfect tree. Of course, we'd never know exactly what it looked like, since it would be wrapped up, but that was part of the surprise! We would wrap it in an old sheet, bring it home and put it in the garage overnight with a 5 gallon bucket of water, after Dad chopped off a few dried inches from the trunk. The next night, we would bring it upstairs, set it up, make sure it was straight and my dad would put the Christmas lights on it.
Mom and Dad would do all of the Christmas shopping months early to avoid going to the stores during this deathly time of year. But, they would still take me and the boys out to shop for the other parent. I loved trying to find the things that would fill the line on my parents' wish list.
A week or so before Christmas, my mom would have a baking storm. We would make candies and peanut brittle and cookies galore! It was always so much fun to deliver cookies to our families and friends. This is one tradition I'm going to be doing this year. I won't be making all of the same cookies or candies that my mom previously made, but I have a list I think will suffice. Maybe I'll post about it a little later.
When I was really young, we used to do THREE Christmases on Christmas day. Eventually everyone started to feel that was hectic and we moved to a two-day system. My mom's side of the family would gather on Christmas Eve. We'd have delicious foods, including my favorite, king crab! We would share presents with each other and overall just enjoy the evening. Our parents would always get us new pajamas.
On Christmas morning, Santa came and filled our stockings as well as leaving us lots and lots of presents under the tree. (I know it's just my mom and dad, but it's more fun to say it was Santa). My brothers and I would always wake up super early! 4:30 or 5:00 am! We weren't ever allowed to wake our parents up. But, we were allowed to open our stockings and all the trinkets that were wrapped inside. I love stockings. Candies and nuts and oranges and soaps and toys, what is not to love? If we were really thinking, we would make a pot of coffee - presents could never be opened until my parents had a cup of coffee and brushed their teeth.
Often, presents were completely opened before the sun rose. My mom would then make something amazing for breakfast - like cinnamon rolls. And we would spend the daytime playing with our new toys and presents. There would be new clothes too.
In the afternoon, we would gather up all of the presents for my dad's side of the family and go to my Grandma Becky's house for a similar ritual as to my mom's side of the family. Presents would be opened and laughter shared. Then we enjoyed dinner and pies.
Oh how I miss my mother's pies. I can bake, but there is something about her food that I absolutely miss. I hope with more and more practice I will learn to love mine more than her's (sorry mom!)
Bed time usually came early due to exhaustion, but on the morning of December 26, there was always one more present to open. My brother John's birthday gift!
Starting the day after Thanksgiving, my mom would start to put up the Christmas decorations around the house. Garland, lights, Nativity scene, various Christmas quilts. Then, about 2 weeks before Christmas, we would go to Kenai River Nursery and pick out the perfect tree. Of course, we'd never know exactly what it looked like, since it would be wrapped up, but that was part of the surprise! We would wrap it in an old sheet, bring it home and put it in the garage overnight with a 5 gallon bucket of water, after Dad chopped off a few dried inches from the trunk. The next night, we would bring it upstairs, set it up, make sure it was straight and my dad would put the Christmas lights on it.
Mom and Dad would do all of the Christmas shopping months early to avoid going to the stores during this deathly time of year. But, they would still take me and the boys out to shop for the other parent. I loved trying to find the things that would fill the line on my parents' wish list.
A week or so before Christmas, my mom would have a baking storm. We would make candies and peanut brittle and cookies galore! It was always so much fun to deliver cookies to our families and friends. This is one tradition I'm going to be doing this year. I won't be making all of the same cookies or candies that my mom previously made, but I have a list I think will suffice. Maybe I'll post about it a little later.
When I was really young, we used to do THREE Christmases on Christmas day. Eventually everyone started to feel that was hectic and we moved to a two-day system. My mom's side of the family would gather on Christmas Eve. We'd have delicious foods, including my favorite, king crab! We would share presents with each other and overall just enjoy the evening. Our parents would always get us new pajamas.
On Christmas morning, Santa came and filled our stockings as well as leaving us lots and lots of presents under the tree. (I know it's just my mom and dad, but it's more fun to say it was Santa). My brothers and I would always wake up super early! 4:30 or 5:00 am! We weren't ever allowed to wake our parents up. But, we were allowed to open our stockings and all the trinkets that were wrapped inside. I love stockings. Candies and nuts and oranges and soaps and toys, what is not to love? If we were really thinking, we would make a pot of coffee - presents could never be opened until my parents had a cup of coffee and brushed their teeth.
Often, presents were completely opened before the sun rose. My mom would then make something amazing for breakfast - like cinnamon rolls. And we would spend the daytime playing with our new toys and presents. There would be new clothes too.
In the afternoon, we would gather up all of the presents for my dad's side of the family and go to my Grandma Becky's house for a similar ritual as to my mom's side of the family. Presents would be opened and laughter shared. Then we enjoyed dinner and pies.
Oh how I miss my mother's pies. I can bake, but there is something about her food that I absolutely miss. I hope with more and more practice I will learn to love mine more than her's (sorry mom!)
and since I don't have any pictures with me of Christmas, here is a picture from the 2008 Christmas comes to Kenai parade.
Sad Emails
I got the email last week that I, unfortunately, did not get the Admissions Counselor position I applied for. I wasn't even considered for an interview. Sad day. However, in hind sight, it's probably for the better. As you read in my last post, next semester is going to be rough. But I'll get through it somehow, and life will go on.
Things on my mind this week
- Not passing evolution this semester and thoughts about next semester
Next semester is looking to be rough. I have to retake Bio 116x: Principles of Biology. My very first semester (when the course was F105x) I got a C-. It didn't matter for my minor, but now it does for my major. How depressing.
It looks like I'll be retaking Bio 481: Evolution. The professor for the spring semester is not posted yet. I don't know if I would prefer the same teacher or if a new teacher with new perspectives and style would be better.
I also have to take the second semester of Organic Chemistry: Chem 322. I already told my friend Micah, who is a chem tutor, that I will be spending plenty of time there. I barely passed the first semester of O Chem and that was Spring 2009, so it's been quite awhile since I had to do it.
The last course I have to take is a biology elective. I am opting for Bio 288: Fish and Fisheries of Alaska. I don't expect it to be a cake-walk, but I'm hoping 22 years of living in Alaska will help me succeed.
It's also my last semester of campus involvement. This both saddens and delights me. While I wish I was able to stay involved forever, the people who I know who currently won't leave, drive me crazy. I don't want to be that person in other person's life. I will dearly miss being an orientation leader, a student ambassador, in the Pep Band (though that I might continue, so I can get into hockey games for free) and an active brother of Alpha Phi Omega.
- Wedding plans
Planning has been going fantastically. We have booked and placed deposits on our venue, catering and our photographer. My dress has been ordered. Centerpieces are coming together nicely. Save-the-dates have been sent. Invites are in the works. I'm so excited to be married with the love of my life.
- Honeymoon plans
Will it be a cruise? A trip to Maui? Who knows!
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