Friday, June 10, 2011

Love = Trust + Compromise.

Part of loving anyone - your mother, brother, cousin, best friend, husband or wife is dependent on trust and compromise.  If any part of the equation is missing, the solution often turns to at least one person involved being hurt or hated.  Usually, it is all parties involved. 

It is so difficult to fix a broken equation.  Sometimes, it may be easier to give up and try to find another equation to work on.  It is easier because it is new to us.  Repeating the same mistakes over and over on the old equation leads us further and further into frustration and denial.  We like new equations because we feel they will be different than the old equation and will lead us somewhere new. 

We see these equations all around us being broken and found and solved.    If there is legal involvement, we're talking about marriage and divorce.  If we're looking at middle school or high school again, it's the vicious dating cycle.  It doesn't always have to be a romantic relationship though, we see it happen between friends, coworkers and every day people on the street. 

While perusing facebook this morning, a friend posted the quote:

“Anyone can give up, it's the easiest thing in the world to do. 
But to hold it together when everyone else would understand if you fell apart, 
that's true strength.” 
- Unknown
We are not built the same.  I do not expect everyone to hold it together 100% of the time. But sometimes holding it together makes us feel better than losing it, especially in situations that we feel that we have no control.  
Trust forms like ice: one tiny layer at a time.  In the beginning of a relationship and during hard times, the ice fragile, like a puddle I used to jump on as a child. 

 As the relationship grows stronger, the ice builds. One might compare this to a lake that isn't quite strong enough to go skating or ice fishing.  Perhaps it still has holes in it.  

And then there is when trust is at its strongest point when it is able to hold most of the challenges that come at it. Even strong enough to be run over by a truck. 
 Compromise, whether we like it or not, is often a huge part of relationships as well.  We learned as a child as well as through an episode of Glee from the first season, we can't always get what we want, but if we try sometimes, we'll get what we need.  So often, we head into situations that we high expectations for, but something bad happens.  This negative event marks our day or our week.  A positive attitude and the willingness to compromise with the situation can often make us and those around us feel much, much better.  
If you haven't guessed it yet, I'm in a rough situation that I can't fix.  It isn't my situation to fix, but it's killing me to watch.  Perhaps if we all send positive ju-ju to those who need it, we can press forward and these people in my life will pick the equation of life that they feel will best benefit them.   

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