Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Things to think about...

I've been a bit blue this week. 

Here are some possible reasons why:
  • I'm homesick.  As much as I don't like to admit it, it has happened about this time year every year since I've been in school.  I don't think seeing my mom for 30 hours and then knowing that I'm not able to afford to visit for Christmas helps me at all.  I'm really trying to cook at home more often and make some of her recipes, but it's the little things I miss, like just hanging out and all of her decorations.  Time zones make this difficult as well because when I get home, it's typically too late to call her.  
  • School.  I picked up the biology degree this summer and added it to my program.  Now I'm double majoring in sociology and biology.  And I only have evolution, biochem or o. chem 2, a bio elective and I have to retake the 2nd semester of intro left to finish.  But right now, I'm really questioning whether or not I can handle it.  Evolution is killing me, biochem may not be offered in the spring and I haven't taken any chemistry in like 5 semesters.  And the fact that I really, really make an effort in my classes and still don't pass kills my self-esteem and motivation. 
  • Money. Like always, I work my 20 hours and I just barely make it.  I'm really, really trying to pay off my credit card debt so that will be one thing less I have to worry about next summer when I graduate, but when I'm only bringing in 800/month, and I have a $200 phone bill (which let's face it. I could theoretically get rid of, but it's my main source of organization.)  Britton pays ALL of my other bills except rent.  I buy the groceries.  
  • Lack of time.  I really try to manage my time well.  I spend my out-of-class time on TR reading for classes.  I go home and cook dinner and do the laundry while reading for classes.  I watch maybe 3 hours of TV a week.  But I HAVE TO SLEEP FOR 7-8 HOURS.  My body just doesn't do well with days and days of <7 hours.  This is why I don't pick up a second job or try to get more hours. Granted, I could drop all of my extracurricular activities: pep band, jazz band, student ambassador, APO, but isn't that what college is all about?
  • Unknown wedding stress.  I've put aside most of the wedding planning until breaks, and I know this.  I've talked about it with myself - we know it'll all work out and all the projects I want to do just cost money and may or may not be noticed anyway and thus it's not necessary to stress over.  
  • Fear my truck isn't going to survive winter. I think this one explains it all.  Also, see point 3. 

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