It's extremely frustrating to me when people gossip about me or my family. I understand not everyone is making the greatest choices in the world, but do we have to harp on them every single time? And multiple times in one visit?
It kills me when all I hear about my brothers are the bad things they've done. Yes, perhaps they need to make smarter choices, but still. What happened to having the support of your family and friends? Isn't it our job to help them see their wrongs? To help guide them into making more accurate choices? To teach them the laws? Why do we tend to abandon people when they turn 18? How is that supportive?
Is it our own fault? I know when I turned 18 I couldn't wait to move out of my parents house. I was so excited to leave them, but I still call then for advice and support. Are we being taught that once "you become an 'adult '" that's all the help you get? I don't know if that's the way we need to be doing things. I get that young adults need to make their own mistakes, live on their own, pay their own bills etcetera, but what makes us think that we can do all of those things right away?
How do people not learn from their mistakes? One of the things that kept coming up in he conversation that sparked this post is that my brother had 5 pages of tickets printed from the state website. He wanted to know why he hadn't received his permanent fund dividend check yet. It was because he had so many outstanding tickets that the state garnished his PFD. This breaks my heart. Why is it so hard for him to follow the laws? If you can't afford to keep your snow machine registered or you're underage (or were), or you don't have insurance, don't do the things that you can't do!!!
I usually try to give my brothers a few dollars for their birthdays, but I couldn't handle sending them money that they'll just use for drugs or alcohol. The older of the two just turned 21 and the younger is now 18. It breaks my heart to see them spending their money on such useless things.
Yes, I am a hypocrite because I enjoy a good drink about once a week or so, but I typically only have one or two drinks and I never, ever drank until I was 21. And I never, ever drive after drinking.
All in all, I want to know how my brothers are doing, but don't chew them out while they aren't their to take it. There isn't a whole lot I can do because I was the "goody-two-shoes" of the family and they really don't want to listen to me. I'll love them unconditionally, but I won't be bailing them out of jail or letting them move in rent free.